Wednesday, March 14, 2007


"The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."

Something out of the ordinary happened the other night: Time was altered. Not in the Einsteinian sense, mind you, I mean there wasn't a rift in the time/space continuum. At least not that I know of. But there was an interruption, a hiccup if you will, in the familiar progression of linear chronology. And it's called
Daylight Saving Time.

Now most of you are already aware of DST, although you've probably heard it referred to as 'Daylight Savings Time'. A common misnomer, no doubt promulgated by the same folks who say 'Happy New Years' instead of 'Happy New Year' and 'anyways' instead of 'anyway'.

Anyways, DST is nothing new. It's been around in various forms since 1918. Originally it began on the last Sunday in March and ended on the last Sunday in October. However since 1986, which is basically as long as anyone can remember, it has begun on the first Sunday in April and ended on the last Sunday in October. But thanks to the Energy Policy Act of 2005, we are now setting our clocks forward a full three weeks earlier than before.

Why the change?

Why indeed!

As many of you probably suspect, any major policy change in the United States is the result of the clandestine workings of various elite multinational supergroups know generally as "secret societies". These secret societies have different names and different memberships, but they all have one thing in common: they are all basically fronts for the supremely-powerful, mysteriously cultish, obsessively world-dominating group known as the Illuminati.

The Illuminati or 'Enlightened Ones' have been secretly controlling the world for centuries, having evolved from the legendary Knights Templar and their more inclusive little frat-brothers, The Freemasons. As the Knights Templar grew in notoriety, the Illuminati branched off to form a secret society within the secret society. As the public face of the Illuminati, the Freemasons act as a lightning rod to draw our attention away from the inner workings of the 'men behind the curtain.'

Other spin-off groups have formed over the years to keep us from being able to pin down exactly who is running things. For example, here in America we have the Skull and Bones, which served as the breeding ground for the Central Intelligence Agency, and whose membership includes both Presidents Bush. We also have the Bohemian Club, whose annual midsummer sleep-away camp hosts a collection of the most powerful and wealthy men in the world. But more on that later.

The very fact that there are several of these shadowy organizations whose members possess virtually all of the financial muscle and political clout in the known world is what makes them so difficult to penetrate.

Take for example the Council on Foreign Relations, the Rockefeller-funded think-tank that has been guiding American Foreign Policy since Woodrow Wilson's administration. (Yes, that's right, exactly the same time DST was first enacted.) Would it surprise you to know that Vice President Dick Cheney and Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice are both members? It shouldn't.

Or how about The Bilderberg Group, whose public objective is to maintain a close correlation between the governments of Western Europe and the United States. Did you know that former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and his number-one henchman Paul Wolfowitz, architects of the current U.S. Imperialist First Strike Doctrine and prime movers behind the invasion of Iraq are both attendees of the extremely private annual Bilderberg meetings?

But of course they are.

And then we have the infamous Trilateral Commission, a kind of Uber-Bilderberg Group which embraces the East (i.e. Japan) as well as the West and includes both Cheney and Wolfowitz among its brethren (and sistren.)

Why so many groups with so many names for so many rich and/or powerful white people (and Condoleeza)? The answer lies in a remarkably dense and labyrinthine novel by Umberto Eco called Foucault's Pendulum, about three hapless book editors whose attempt to create a conspiratorial secret society makes them the target of an actual secret society hidden within the Freemasons. Eco suggests that if you want to hide a secret society, what better place than within a group that is widely know as such? The very fact that everyone knows about the Freemasons would lead most logical people to doubt that they really are a conspiratorial group bent on world domination. Which is exactly why they are the perfect front for the Illuminati. In fact, this practice of deliberate misdirection has risen to an art form thanks to the collaboration of Hollywood, unwitting though it may be.

To illustrate, let's get back to Daylight Saving Time. Who invented DST? None other than famous Freemason and Founding Father, Benjamin Franklin. And how do we know this? Because it was an important plot point in the movie National Treasure. The movie contains numerous tantalizing tid-bits and symbolism related to the Freemasons and the Illuminati, most of which are designed to throw us off the track of their true purpose. The movie was distributed by Disney, a company whose ties to Freemasonry couldn't be plainer. The flagship theater of the Disney movie empire is the El Capitan on Hollywood Boulevard, built by Freemasons. And right next door to it, and home to Disney/ABC's Jimmy Kimmel Show, is the Hollywood Masonic Temple. Hidden in plain sight.

Daylight Saving Time didn't take off, however, until it was formally proposed by Englishman William Willett, famous "builder" (read "Mason"), avid golfer (again read "Mason") and notorious "morning person". An ambitious young Freemason by the name of Winston Churchill took hold of the idea and soon afterward it became English law.

Clearly it is one of the secret objectives of the Illuminati to control time itself. For proof, we again turn to Hollywood and the movie Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, in which an all powerful group called "The Illuminati" are trying to find the missing halves of a mystical device that can change the course of time itself. In the movie their plans are thwarted by the beautiful and exciting Lara Croft played by the beautiful and exciting Angelina Jolie, who is herself a member of the Council on Foreign Relations. Are you starting to see the big picture now?

The more they tell us, the less we know.

Which brings us back to the Bohemian Club and their yearly midsummer pagan sun-worshipping ritual at their rustic retreat called the Bohemian Grove. The Bohemians regularly invite members of the "entertainment community" to mix with the Rockefellers and Presidents and Captains of Industry and put on little shows for them while they walk around naked, pee on the redwood trees, worship owls, drink copious amounts of alcohol, have sex with prostitutes (male and female) and make decisions affecting every single living soul on God's Green Earth. One such invitee, Harry Shearer, even made a movie about his experience. It's called Teddy Bears' Picnic. What, you haven't seen it?

No one has.

The point is, these wizards of time and space don't give a 'tinker's dam' what some silly comedian divulges about their bizarre and repulsive proclivities. The more we hear about them, the less we believe. It's all just too crazy to be real.

Ah, but it is real. It is very, very real.

And we are all falling in line with their master plan. On Sunday, we changed our clocks. Why? They told us to. Who? Congress? Did Congress really write the Energy Policy Act of 2005? Of course not. Some lawyers wrote it. Lawyers who work for a PAC or a think-tank, which is in turn controlled by a shadowy group of mega-millionaires, ex-presidents and hot movie stars. Which is in turn controlled by the Illuminati via their loyal footsoldiers, the Freemasons.

Ask yourself this: Why was the provision to roll back DST included in the Energy Policy Act? The most common answer is: To save energy. But is that true? Do we know that as a fact? Are there any studies one can point to showing how setting your clocks forward actually results in a savings of energy? In fact there are not. Not one. There is no evidence that DST saves energy whatsoever. So who's behind it? Who benefits?

There is one group who benefits.

For years, the golfing industry has been reaping added profits by the hundreds of millions thanks to the extended hours of sunlight brought about by DST. Golf, as we all know, began in Scotland where all of the orginal golf clubs were run by the Freemasons. In fact, the structure and membership of these clubs was organized along the same lines as the Masonic Lodge. Golf, it seems, was invented as a way for the Masonic Brotherhood to publicly interact under the guise of "sport".

Where better for groups of wealthy Protestants to convene and interact and carry out their secret plans for world domination than right out in the open air and bright sun? And with DST in place, they can indulge themselves well into the evening, getting in a full round after close of business.

After all, they are the Enlightened Ones.

It may seem like a small incursion. Maybe not even worth mentioning. So we change our clocks a little sooner than last year. No big deal.

But somewhere, there is a room with thirteen old white men sitting in a semi-circle around a pentagram of candles. And those men are laughing. They are laughing at us. Why are they laughing? Because once again they have advanced their agenda, ever so slightly. And once again we have danced their little dance.

So when you hear that alarm going off tomorrow morning telling you it's time to rise and shine, just remember who you're rising and shining for.

Dance, monkeys. Dance.

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